One last post…..
Baruch to
The journey has been difficult. No doubts about that whatsoever. And finally, here I stand at the end of the cliff, ready to take a plunge into a ocean of happiness and sorrow.
The best thing about being a child is that you are dumb. Dumb in the sense…..you take very few memories along with you into the later stages. Which makes it a lot easier to walk through this “thing” called life till you reach an age where everything falls into place. When I was in Baruch I don’t really remember what or how iv lived my life. Only faint memories of running around in my underwear holding a bow and an arrow. I only remember the excruciating pain of thorns piercing my legs. Only faint memories of my dad trying to get me ready in time for school. Yeah….. trust me with your life on this. I would be ready for school and waiting at the gate with my dad. But as soon as the bus arrives, magically, it would be my moment to hit the bathroom. It was the race against time for me and my dad. This happened every single day. No breaks.
There are moments in your life which force a chuckle out of you no matter how upset you are. This is surely one of them for me. Waiting all night for dear ol’ papa to return home and only then falling asleep. That is a moment which brings tears no matter how happy I am.
When I shifted out of Baruch to Ahmedabad, I had a serious case of malaria. My dad bought me a toy car to divert my attention when it was time to have my medicine. Somehow things turned out to be fine and here I am…. Sitting on the edge of yet another phase of life which is about to draw the curtains upon itself.
This is where things turn ugly. You tend to take these moments so far into your life and cant turn back. They all find some corner in your mind and soul and refuse to vacate only to trouble you time and again.
My life would be better described as a tiger cub’s life.
In the last five years, I’ve seen myself going through a change. Close and dear ones would know well. Once I left school I knew this was a beginning of a new life and to come to terms with it would be difficult. Now, for some people the above statement would make no sense. But for a person like me who did not believe in friendship and love, it matters more than anything. For 10 years straight I lived a life sans friends and love. In the safe protection of my parents till my mother decided that I was ready to be left into the wild. From thereon I was on my own. Yes, my parents were there for me whenever I needed them and supported me financially and more importantly, with their timely interventions and advises.
When I entered my degree college I had no idea of the turn my life was going to take
Through different walks of life I went through different kinds of emotions which tested my mettle as a person. They taught me the way to react to different situations. But this particular turn tested my emotional strength to an extent where I could break down at any given time.
I have met the best of people in these five years and the worst of back-stabbers. I had to resort to illegal and unethical means to unearth the truth but they only helped me in the bargain . I will only wish that those people lead a good life and don’t face the same. As far as my friends are concerned, I will want them to stay with me forever and stand by me to guide me through every dark alley in life.
One thing I’ve learnt is that the more you expect from life, the more you are disappointed. No matter who it is…..and what you have done for that person…..he or she won’t change. It hurts a lot but you gotta just live through it ‘coz there aint much you can do about it. I have taken certain decisions in life for my friends which hurled me towards great depths of sorrow but the happiness in their eyes gave me the strength to stand up and move ahead.
I met certain friends who let go of me quite unceremoniously just coz their boyfriends asked them to. It doesn’t matter much coz I consider that just another chapter in the book of life.
I met certain people who gave me all the happiness in the world. They brought about a whirlwind of pleasant memories which I would have no problems in reminiscing in the later stages of my life.
Yes….this is my last post coz this blog was meant to describe the part of my life which I lived and enjoyed to the fullest. I might get a better life from now on, but these 20 years will be etched in my memory coz they shaped me as a person and trained me to go ahead. My mom said, now you will face different kinds of people… people who will try to pull you down like crabs.
Bring em on…….!!!
