parliament bytes.....

for a change, let me discuss a serious issue for once. i was watchin the parliament session yesterday. it was " V-DAY ". the trust vote day for the upa led govt. it was amazing to see that the lok sabha was at full strength yesterday. finding an empty seat was like finding a pin in a stack of hay. so what if we had selfish reasons?? atleast they all came along!!
anyways, i surprised myself when i was able to identify most of the mp's and most of the people frm the opposition by their names and not their attires and accents. manmohan singh, shivraj patil, our dear old lalu, rahul gandhi, sharad pawar , govinda (!?!?!), navjot singh siddhu, pappu yadav,vk malhotra. i could actually place them.
now quite frankly....i wasnt really keen on watchin this. i was taking a nap when it al started. trust me with ur life on this....if ravan had to shake kumbkaran off his slumber...all he had to do was set up a parliament session right inside his ears!! IT WAS ABSOLUTE MAYHEM!!! people from one side...screamin at the people on the other side...it was gettin difficult to decide as to who was supportin whom. spare a thought for good old Somnath Chatterjee....he mus be cursin his stars as to why he dint quit the seat when he had the chance! . till date in his tenure....he was screamin at a people which consited of maybe only a little more dan the required quorum. here he was shoutin at full strength!!! kudoz old man!!! uve won my respect!! i can imagine him behind the safe walls of his house right now...probably enjoyin a quite dinner...without any mp springin up with another "grave" issue... dude....ill sponsor for the aspirins if u want...i really will.
there were certain things that caught my attention in the session. one of them was Rahul Gandhi's speech. something told me that his speech was gonna be something monumental. somthing that would shake things up a bit. if only it could start!!! poor guy had to face sum flak barely after he had started speakin. infact so much flak dat de lok sabha had to adjourned. when he finally did start...he delivered. i was happy to see someone like him on my screen blurtin out words like a machine gun. his speech actually made me think dat...ok this guy can lead my country. many people might oppose me. but thats what i felt. he might not be really well conversant in his hindi...but thats fine. but he was shit nervous!!! so nervous dat he mixed up mrs. kala and mrs mayavati into one mrs kalawati!!!but thats fine again...wad mattered was de speech...a monumental one as promised. i may have missed omar abdullah's speech...hu seemed to be all fired up. heck!! who wasnt!!??!?
by now was sick n tired of all de commotion...i swear...had i been in chatterjee's chair....i wuld have hired bouncers!! but who listens to me anyways...
i really needed a break frm dat noise....but my granddad was hell bent on seein who wuld win. but god finally did listen to me. he sent an angel to my rescue. his name was LALU PRASAD YADAV. trust me with ur life again.... the lok sabha...all of a sudden....had turned into "the great indian comedy show" set ..... i dont think he left a single opposition leader alone. he took leisure in throwin crap at each n evryone of em. the agression dat rahul lacked....lalu delivered... he was hilarious!! ofcourse...he spoke abt evrythin except the N-Deal...but i dun think anyone really bothered!! manmohan singh...sonia gandhi...sharad pwar...somnath chattergee......all were in splits!! so i culdnt really complain to anyone!!
i must say....this "experience"...if i can call it....has really opened my eyes an ears to indian politics...
even though chaotic....it was atleast better dan the session dat are help by the japanese govts.... they practice kung-fu n other such stuff if they get pissed....atleast we restrict ourselves to tables...chairs....n our trusty chappals!!

no NEWS is sometimes good NEWS......

i am running out of ideas....
running out of ideas to post on my blog....
its probably become a "cob"-website by now.....
im running out of words just like news reporters are running out of news....

i was reading the paper with my dad the other day..n he reads out loud...

"rani mukherjee's NRI frnd's uncle robbed!!!".....
i was like..."ok pops...how do u knw...?? "
"its here on the first page!!" he says as though HE was rani mukherjee's - nri frnds - uncle .....
i started wondering if i knew any celeb
the closest i came 2 was vidya balan hu had come to a wedding in my familia....strange thoughts started darting my mind...."if i get robbed...will i make it to the first page??"
it took a 100 decible scream frm my dad for me to snap out of my front page ambitions...
but still...the kind of news people come up with...its appalling to say the least.
its all about fame i tell ya...its all about fame....if u have an ass that is as famous as any other celeb....u can be assured of instant fame...

Rakhi "yuck" sawant was once in the news big time coz of her "puppy" with mika singh.... now both these guys were in dire need of attention....the WORLD knows what happened on mika's happywala budday party....
see?? thats wad i mean.....i bet even george bush knws dat rakhi sawant cried foul....
rakhi sawant breaks up with boyfrnd...now i dun knw whether if ive got my facts write...but this "boyfrnd" was her bro when she got her famous puppy....yeah he was de same guy hu was standin behind sawant when she was screamin her lungs out on national television....
n then this "boyfrnd" becums a star....shows his dancing skills on a reality show.... n gets himself a name... abhishek"i was there"awasthi....

i cant tell you how badly i wanna be known as a celeb's relative...even if it means i have to be the celeb's uncle's daughters brother's best friend's sister's best friend's uncle's nephew's son!!! cant tell u....

neways....where were we??? yeah....news channels....
a certain India TV seems to belive that the ordinary middle class "junta" has no other job other dan watchin deir outdated...overexagerated... dumb n senseless news...here are a few of the best...i mean worst....
***BREAKING NEWS*** >>> BOY GETS BITTEN BY A DOG....DOG RECUPERATING IN THE HOSPITAL
***BREAKING NEWS*** # 2 >>>BOY PULLS LEAVES OUT OF HIS EARS....i bet hes gaya's son....
***BREAKING NEWS*** # 3 >>> RAKHI SAWANT SLAPS ABHISHEK!!! SPECIAL LIVE REPORTING!!!
***BREAKING NEWS*** # 4 >>> SAI BABA "APPEARS" IIN GENEVA...huh??
***BREAKING NEWS*** # 5 >>> ZAMEEN PHATT RAHI HAI....INDIA TV KE PAAS HAI LIVE VIDEO!! yea rite!!! youtube zindabaad!!!
***BREAKING NEWS*** # 6 >>> BOY DUZNT LIKE TEACHERS POETRY...GETZ BEATEN UP!!!

i mean....dats wads showed on tv these days....
i sumhow bumped into "Ask The SEXPERT" in mumbai mirror one day... minors...please dont read de following few lines....
yea so..this Ask the Sexpert is this column by this hopelessly jobless and depressed soul who feeds upon the sad stories of other people's sex lives......sum questions manage to put u off for the entire week...first of all....dats one cheezy name for a column....i mean...what duz he want to potray himself as?? a sex-crazy maniac?? SEXPERT??? cummon man...couldnt u hav found urself a better name??? and all u guys who actually write to this guy....what on earth were u thinking?!?!?!....ill tell u sumthin...ask ur gf or ur wife the question...they will give u a better answer....gosh!! for christs sake!!!

this is a sincere request to news channels!! stop giving birth to new news channels till the time u have some real NEWS!!! please....thanks.....in the mean time ill try to find out what Rani mukherjee's - nri frnd's - uncle got robbed off....what was it??? his underwear??? his toilet paper??? WHAT WAS IT?!?!?!?!? I WANNA KNOW!!!!